Leaving America: Part I

My last stint in Portland was filled with trying to fit in all the things on my Portland to-do list. I didn't get all of them done, and I also found that with every one thing I crossed off the list, I added two more. You have to look at it on the bright side - these things give me even more reason to come back and visit. 
Some of the things on my Portland list might seem ridicuolous to Americans, but to me they were quite fun. I was lucky to have an American who thought they were fun, too. These things included going to Costco and IKEA just because I had never been before. Being from a small island country, things on a big scale just generally overwhelm me and make me feel funny. Mostly, it's the good kind of funny.

IKEA

People had told me that the food at IKEA is amaaaaaazing. I should have known better, because when Americans say things are 'amazing' or 'awesome', you gotta take it with a handfull of salt. The food there was decidely average, but cheap as chips. That's why people think it's so good. When you can get meat balls AND fro-yo AND cinnamon buns for $5 and some change, then how can it be bad? Guys, it can be. Bad food is bad food, regardless of what you pay for it. I had the fro-yo, which was average to bad, and half a cinnamon bun, which was average, and some of those Sweedish meatballs which everyone RAVES about. I think if you add a nationality so a food (e.g. 'Spanish Moroccan Fish') people will automatically believe it tastes better because it sounds exotic. OMG IT'S SPANISH AND MOROCCAN AND IT'S FISH!  Same rule applies with adding 'Mum's' or 'Grandma's' to recipes. Would you trust a recipe for 'Older Brother's Minstrone Soup'? Probably not. Well, not in ma fam, anyway. Sorry Michael and Ben.
Back to the SWEDISH meatballs. 
So I stole one from my flatmate. I am a vegetarian, but sometimes I'm not very good at it. I like to try new things, and I like meat, so I find myself in sticky situations. I had a meatball. It was okay.
IKEA was actually quite weird. I got a weird feeling in there, I hadn't really processed it until now. Probably because I'm not very intouch with my feelings. I reckon so I have a 3 month feeling delay. It's a thing. I wonder if psychologists have coined it yet. 
Let's talk about feeelings now. 
I don't think I've ever felt so empty in a furniture store. I think it was the size, the colours, and all the fake rooms that they have set up. It's like you're in a living room or a bedroom, so you should feel homely and warm, but you're in the middle of a massive store. The shop attendants seemed soulless, and there were heaps of generic shoppers who were overweight and pissed off because they had to spend money. They probably weren't there by choice. I forget this is a thing, because I try to make most activities in life either fun, or into some kind of adventure. Most people don't do this. We were there for fun AND adventure! When I proudly announced this to a staff member (middle-aged woman; she seemed boring), she looked at me like I was insane. 
I thoroughly enjoy jumping on all the beds at furniture shops, so this had to happen. I found the most comfortable one and lied on it for ages and contemplated what it would be like to be a real person.
Sometimes I would go into one of the fake rooms and pick up a book. I just wanted to go through the book shelves and close the door and be alone or in at a friend's house. It's a very confusing place for me. I had fun though. Some of my matezzz and I decided it would be a great place to play hide-and-seek in, and we really wanted to organise an play day so this could happen.
Something to go back for. 
Maybe, when we finished hide-and-seek, we can build a fort in one of the rooms. 

Costco

Costco also happened. I recruited more people this time! For me, everything was just really big and cheap. I ended up buying four GIANT grapefruit. The sample tables are pretty gross. Don't get me wrong, I'll eat free samples with the best of 'em, but I hate the way that people crowd around and look angry as they wait and don't even make conversation with the sample ladies/men, who in my experience, were all lovely. Sometimes I'm not a big fan of small talk, but there's a think called courtesy, yes? Yah know? Like saying 'hello'?Apparently the food at Costo (the fast food stuff) is actaully yummers, in a way that the food at IKEA isn't. But I don't know because I didn't try any. Spent a good amount of time there and I was constantly talking about how big everything was. Maybe even to the point of it being annoying. There was some people watching involved. It was a Saturday. There were a lot of families with children and pickup trucks. I was tempted to buy bulk amounts of string cheese and some Fun Cereal for Fun Cereal Friday, but I didn't let myself because I knew I wouldn't have the time to eat it all.
There's Costco in Korea, too. I might just have to go on a field trip there some day.

Other thoughts from me this week:

• I miss Portland quite a bit. It's definitely my favourite city that I've lived in and it's filled with great people. 
• I was wanting to try all the new foods again, so I brought this thing called acorn jelly from the supermarket here in Korea. It sounds like it was gross, and guess what‽ It WAS gross!
• For the first time in my life I am working Monday to Friday. It's weird. The weeks go fast and the weekends even faster. I have learnt that Tuesdays are way worse than Mondays. Think about it.  NOTHING GOOD HAPPENS TO ANYONE EVER. ANYWHERE. 
• Today I had an argument with a child about wether iguanas have two legs or four legs. Naturally, I was right. The only thing that's worse than being wrong is being right but not really being allowed to brag about it.

This guy. Still love him.

BRB GTG

Liz Tritops

xoxo

Bingo Is Ma Fave

On one of my last nights in Portland, my flatmate and I did something that we had been wanting to do for quite some time. Guess what it was? Bingo! There is this place just down the road from our old apartment which would have Bingo two or three times a week, but we had been so busy and important that we hadn't managed to make it.
On our last Tuesday in town, we dragged two other comrades along with us to try and compete with the best. It was actually too much fun.

Here are some things about Bingo:

• We only got there just in time so everyone was already there with their Bingo cards. I'm in a new environment AND I'm late. Fucking great. We had no idea how the procedures worked. Most of the old ladies looked very serious, and they were. They were also trying to be kind and help, but they rushed through the instructions like they were a piece of cake. Really, for us newbies, it wasn't so self-explanatory. There were 10 games, and they all had different shapes you needed to get to call BINGO and different things cost different amounts of money, and on the info sheet we were given, the instructions were like this: 'Straight Line Bingo (side pot) continuing to Pattern Game for prize (50 cents). Continues to First Blackout (quarters collected) and Second Blackout (free drink ticket).' Huh?
• The instruction sheet also said 'Tuesday Night East Portland #3256 Auxiliary Bingo' at the top. What the heck is 'Auxiliary Bingo'?
• Some people had five or six cards. Honestly, that's tricky. 
• Five or six cards is even more tricky if you play like I did during the first round. When they called things like 'I 19' I didn't realise that this meant '19' must be in the 'I' column. I was frantically looking over my three sheets in all the columns for the numbers. How was this so hard for me‽
• This left me thinking that I'm really not smart at Bingo.
• But then I thought, 'HEY! There are still nine more games! And I'm not NOT smart, yaknow?'
• We were given bread but it was really crusty, so we got crumbs all over the table. Good for us, bad for them. 
• 'Auxiliary Bingo' took place at an 'American Eagles' room or something. I think it's basically a club room for old people. It smelt slightly of racism, misunderstanding vegetarians, and prunes. There was weird eagle stuff everywhere. Like a creepy picture of an eagle head. And an eagle on the ceiling. And some more  eagle stuff. Then I saw a painting of a smiling bunny carrying balloons. Playing 'find the odd one out' had never been easier. This place was weird. 
• I know it was cold outside, but the announcer lady (let's just call her Ethel, okay?) was wearing a Christmas sweater in March. 
• She was nice, though, and it was a great sweater. She also knew how to entice the crowd with her prizes which she got from the supermarket. This is Ethel announcing one of prize sets: "Whoever wins this 'five around the corner' can have some shrimp and a salad, or this little barbie doll that I got on sale at Fred Meyer." Choice. There was loud clapping.
• Everyone loves to clap at Bingo. 
• Ethel would often say things like "It's a hot bed!" or "It's heating up in here!" 
• Someone won fish and chips, and it seemed to be the most coveted prize. An old man pointed and yelled "SHE GOT THE FISH AND CHIPS!!" at the lady that won. I think he was actually slightly angry about it. So that was great. 
• There was in obese lady named Tracy in an electric scooter. She won a cake, but then Ethel asked her if she would rather have diet candy instead. I don't know if this is sweet or embarrassing. 
• Bingo must be great for old people, because you don't need to remember anything. In fact, it's probably great if you DO forget things, because then you can just focus on the cards and not worry about what your grandchildren are called.  
• My lawyer friend won $38 and screamed 'Yay! Bus money! I'm so broke, this is awesome!', so go America for being out of the recession. AND Paige won a fluffy blanket (probably also brought from Fred Meyer on sale). 
• When we left, an old lady said to us "Nice to see you girls, even if you did win all our cotton-picking money!"  
• I didn't win anything. Some people might say Bingo is gambling so therefore it is bad. Maybe. Maybe not. I think I spent, like, $5. And did I get $5 worth of fun out of it? Heck yes I did.
• You should all find where the old people in your hood hang, or just gatecrash a retirement home. Bingo is exciting, and surprisingly nerve-racking. 

Other thoughts from me this week:

• I need to find out what old people do for fun in Korea. Maybe it's as fun as Bingo.
• I've flossed my teeth everyday for a month. I just want you to know that. 
• There's a breed of dog called the 'Karelian Bear Dog'. It doesn't look like a bear AND a dog. It just looks like a dog. It can be used to hunt bears, so that's a bit confusing. 

Here's a video because it's Monday:

(Well, not just 'coz it's Monday. I do this every time.

Gosh. I wish I could get this excited about things. Like Mondays.) 

Have a great week. 

Loveyoubye

Liz Tritops

xoxo

This Has No Theme

So I moved to Korea. I'm in a small-ish city (by Korean standards I'm in the 'countryside'). It's around 90 minutes away from Seoul. I'm teaching English here. 
I hope that this has never been a wanky travel blog and that it never will be. 

With that being said, I will share a few little things from my new life here:

• The list of ways I feel like a pirate is definitely adding up 1.) I can't speak good. 2.) The fruit and vege situation here points to me getting scurvy.
• No one runs outside here. People stare at me because I am white, and because I am running. 
• Portland was like a facial hair oasis. I may not have appreciated this enough. First Korean man I see with some nice beard/moustache/maybe-just-a-bit-of-stubble won't know what hit him.  

Here's a list things that I made. I don't think they are related. Let's not even look for a theme, okay? 

• Recently I went without caffeine for about a week. I learnt something new about myself: Me without caffeine is horrific. My whole body hurts, especially my head. Even if I actually like you, I don't like you. I will stare at you and say 'I'm grumpy', while squinting my eyes and expecting you to do something about it. 
• Bananas are actually berries.
• At my old job, I was trying to sell 'water resistant' things to people by saying they're 'kind of waterproof'. I did this for a LONG time. This doesn't even make sense! 
• Elephants can stop a rolling apple without bruising it 'coz they have mad foot skillz. 
• Carpe diem.
• So there's this thing called breakfast pizza. Maybe you should make it. 
• Fuck this suggestion:

 

• Ben and Jerry's can disappoint. A few weeks ago before I left the USA I brought a pint of the Cheesecake Brownie flavour, and I'm thinking 'Well isn't this just going to be yummy! I like cheesecake and brownies!' Then I eat some and the icecream doesn't even taste like cheesecake and there are hardly any of the little brownie chunks. Lesson: If you want cheesecake and brownies, just eat cheesecake and brownies. 
• Thanks to 'Murica (esp. Portland), I am now quite fond of bridges. Like, bridges are actually really great. 
• If I ever own a boat, it WILL look like a pirate ship. 
• Here's a quote from my good friend Paige, and a great philosophy: "I like calluses. If your skin's too soft, you're not doing life right." 
• Moving and not wasting anything in my kitchen cupboards is a talent that I have yet to master. 

Thoughts from me THIS week:

• Let's share feelings on brushing your teeth in the shower. Do you do it? Have you tried it? I've tried it, and I think it's warm and weird, and I don't like the toothpaste swimming around my feet for some reason. 
• Something in life that I dislike is that feeling right before you go to bed where you don't know if you need to pee or not. 
• I suppose I should try and make you watch some kind of video now. I do that. This is my friend Eli. He does comedy and he's great. 

Thanks for reading! 

I like you all.

Liz Tritops

xoxo

My Relationship Between Stress and Ice Cream

I haven't written in ages. I've been super busy running around and doing activities. I started reading about Harry Potter again, because I still don't know who dies and who lives. I've also been trying to figure out what to do with my life because America is about to kick me out.
Sometimes I'm not too stressed about leaving very soon. I still don't know what I'm doing or where I am going. Other times, reality hits and I have an internal freakout. What happens when I tell people that I'm leaving is that they ask me what I'm doing next. Then when I think about it, that's when I have another mental panic. 

I have stress symptoms. Here are some things that happen. 

• I don't talk, or,
• I talk too much about everything which is mundane to most people but exciting to me, and generally has no relevance to life. Cue dinos, animals, and 'would you rather' questions.
• Watch TV to take my mind off all the things I should be doing. End up having more things to do because I have been watching TV. 
• Decide I have no time to run. I actually do have time to run, because I have somehow been making time for TV. Get more stressed because I'm not running. 
• Stop being hungry, but
• I eating all the things because it makes me feel like I am being productive. People need to eat, right? 

This is a story about icecream.*

Usually I have icecream in the house because of Icecream Sunday. Icecream Sunday is the day where I am allowed to eat icecream. (I have days designated to exciting things in my life. Click here for more!) I have some 'Everything but the...' in the freezer. I'm telling you, this flavour is like a quarter of an orgasm, for reals. It has vanilla and chocolate icecream with white chocolate chunks, peanut butter cups, Heath bar chunks, and chocolate covered almonds. 
Stressed Liz needs an activity = worst icecream eating method ever. 
The problem with icecream that has so many yummy chunks is that I only want to eat the chunks. This turns into a game. I find a peanut butter cup, eat it, then I find some white chocolate, so I eat that, then oh my freaking gosh there's some Heath bar! A tiny piece of another peanut butter cup is exposed I have to fucking dig the shit out of the icecream. All the chunks must be mined!!!! FIND ALL THE WHITE CHOCOLATE! EAT ALL THE PIECES OF EVERYTHING!
What am I left with? A small amount of semi-melted and churned up icecream with no more chunks of fun :( 
I proceed to put on some fat pants (should have done this before icecream eating, duh Liz) and crawl into fetal position. Exact positioning must be strategic, to ensure maximum comfort and also so that I can see what's going on on episode of Hoarders. Hint: Weird people are hoarding things.
Eyes close.
Time elapses. 
Wake up some time later. What year is it? Who knows. Did I wake up from the best party in the world? Answer = no.
Squirrels have invaded apartment.
Flatmate is on other couch, also looking deranged.
Room is full of Ben and Jerry's containers. Most are empty, some have melted icecream, but don't even think that you could find remaining peanut butter cup hunks. Na-ah, gurlfriend. 
No, we don't have great hair. 
Apartment smells like failure, and possibly dead cats. 

THE END

*May or may not be based on a true story. 

Because of occurrences like this, I have been avoiding telling people that I WILL BE LEAVING PORTLAND IN LYK OMG 7 DAYS.

Other thoughts from me this week:

• There are some things that I know I don't know. a) Do friendly goats exist? b) What Blu-ray is. I care enough to be aware that I don't know what it is, but I don't care enough to Google it to find out. I don't have time for that shiz. Usually I just imagine a bright blue stingray being all like 'hey guys! I'm blue!
• I will refuse to drink peppermint and chamomile tea on a regular basis. Not only do they taste like  I'm eating flowers, but I fear that I will turn into an aggressively calm person. 
• Watch this!

The End

Love you all

Liz Tritops

xoxo

Self-help Isn't My Thang

Right now I'm reading a self-help book, and I'm all like, 'shit son. Why am I reading this?

This is my first experience with self-help, and I guess I thought it would be interesting for myself. I don't think that I need a lot of self-help, but maybe sometimes we all do? Just a little bit? I think it's kinda funny that it's called 'self-help', because you're not really helping yourself, are you? If you need to read a damn book, then it's not all you. The one I'm currently reading is by a fella named Stephen so maybe it should be 'Steve-help'.

Here's what I like about it:

• The use of the words 'synergy' and 'paradigm' are off the fucking charts. I think business buzzwords are just the greatest thing. 
• 'Measure twice, cut once.' I guess we can thank the builders of the world for that one. 

Those are the only things Steve could help me with. 

Here's what I don't like about it:

• I don't like the diagrams  I thought more flowcharts and Gantt charts should have been utilised. I like charts, and those are my favourite kinds!
• I'm not very good at saying 'no' to people and also I have the (probably quite common but under-diagnosed) problem of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). This book isn't helping me. 
• This book is trying to teach me that to be a good listener, you just need to repeat whatever the person is saying back to them, either as a statement or a question. But I love talking about ME. 
• Steve talks a lot about a 'circle of influence'. All I can think about when I'm reading this part is when I was ten and my teacher made us all draw a diagram called our Circle of Experience. Inside it we had to put all the things we have tried before and then outside we would write down what we didn't try. The lesson was...actually...I don't remember. Maybe try things? I like trying new things anyway so I don't think I need help with this. I don't think it was a very good lesson. The only thing I could think to put outside the circle was potatoes. While I had tried potatoes before, I didn't like them too much so I would stop trying them. Now I love potatoes. And that was a cool story.
• There is this diagram of a spiral which apparently is called THE UPWARD SPIRAL. So they describe this diagram in words (they don't really explain it, but they just describe what it looks like. Which we can see anyway. Fucking duh.) I was supposed to get something out of it. 

This is what I got out of it: 

Commit. Learn. Do

To be fair, I think that all I need in my life to help make me be more effective is for someone to make me Gantt charts for all the days of my life. Maybe I can also adapt to the Uberman sleep schedule, which is where you sleep for 20 minutes every four hours and this adds up to only three hours day, but you're not even tired because you're awesome and you have an extra five hours to do all the things! 

Here's a pie chart, bitchez:

One time I tried this funny little sleep schedule and I turned into monster! Then I didn't wake up after a nap one time (after nearly three days) and the whole thing was wasted. So I went back to being a normal person. 

Here's me when I tried out polyphasic sleep:

I was crazy!

With my life right now, in an attempt to harness productivity, I just spent forever trying to make a Gantt chart. I'm actually slightly embarrassed about how long I spent trying to figure it out, and I realised that I could have probably done EVERYTHING that was supposed to be in the Gantt chart in the time that it took me to try and make it.  
There will always be lists.  

This was what my Gantt chart was going to contain:

- Wake up. If there's one thing I have learnt over my 23 years is that this is the key to accomplishing anything.
- Run. Through the trees. Maybe faster than before.
- Make bed. Bitchez need a made bed to feel accomplished. 
- Shower time is my favourite time of day. 
- Breakfast. Always eat breakfast! Today it will be porridge.
- Read. More Steve-help. Fucking change my life, Steve. I dare you.
- Make cupcakes. I brought all the ingredients yesterday and they are gonna be yumtastic. Hold me back from eating them all.
- Clean up mess. I will use twice as many dishes as are necessary and I will invariably throw some flour on the flow. 
- Get ready for work. 
- Be at work. Maybe do work. 
- Come home from work and cry.
- Shower time. Because it's my favourite time of day, I often do it twice. 
- Food? Maybe eggies. 
- Watch nature documentaries with ma mates. 
- Time for bed. 

I don't want Steve-help. I just want someone to make me a Gantt chart all the time!

Other thoughts from me this week:

• The snow monkeys that live in Japan are smart enough to season their food. I think that's pretty freaking cool. 
• I gather that I talk about animals ALOT. See, the thing is, with giraffes, how come there isn't anything else like them? With that long neck and everything?
• Do you remember learning about that guy Lamarck in biology? He thought that animals changed because they wanted to. So a giraffe wants a long neck so he can reach the tree leaves, so poof! He gets a longer neck! Then his children also get longer necks. And this is how evolution goes. I know not many people knew much of science those days, but isn't that kind of stupid? And the guy is still a little famous. Geez. 
• Here. Watch this!

Hey guys. Stay cool.

Lots of love

Liz Tritops

xoxo

New Year blah blah blah...

Apparently it's a new year.

New Year's resolutions are dumb. I'm not keen on them. I think if you genuinly care to make a positive change in your life, it shouldn't matter what day you do it on. All days are created equal. 
I am, however, all about reflection.

Things I learned last year:

• Never be boring. If you stop trying new things then you will become boring. 
• Things I don't like about not being 'settled': I can't have a dog. I can't have nice things to cook/bake with. Who carries a wok in their luggage these days? I can't have a piano. Who carries a piano in their luggage these days? It's hard to play sport.  
• That being said, trampoline dodgeball is one of my new favourite sports. I did play that.
• Tater tots are ze best. 
• Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
• Jail and prison are different things. I feel like I should have learnt this 10 years ago.
• Some movies that were awesome when you were a kid just aren't anymore. Like Josh Kirby...Time Warrior! And like The Indian in the Cupboard. Jumanji? Beethoven's 2nd? Who even knows. The trouble is, it's impossible to know if they're still good without re-watching them. 
• No man should think boobs are always awesome. The hoards of homeless women in Portland exemplify this. 
• "That's hilarious." is apparently an adequate response to ANYTHING. 
• No matter how many Pugs and French Bulldogs I see, I will never stop thinking 'ALIEN DOG!!!' every time. 
• I will never take malaria tablets. They say you're not allowed to have alcohol or sun when you take them. Why go on holiday? To drink water and sit in the shade? I don't think so. I'll take the malaria, thanks. (Hint: I don't have malaria.) 
• Tic Tacs must be eaten in twos. And only in twos. 
• Squirrels are like...real good at jumping and shit...they're athletes. Check it.
• If I am a woman, I only have two options: 

• Did I seriously have sushi only three times? What the heck is wrong with this gurl‽ I will not be making this mistake again.  
• If you use a word that people don't understand, most of them won't ask what it means. Why don't we want to learn things anymore? 

Things I didn't learn last year:

• Wether fabric softener actually softens fabric. 
• If it's 'okay' for me to drink de-caffeinated coffee. It just seems so wrong...
• How to do long division.

Watch this before you go.

Thanks for reading

Liz Tritops

xoxo 

I Like The Bus, Okay‽

I usually catch the bus 10 times a week.

There are a few times I really hate catching the bus. I hate it when it gets invaded by 30 children. I only like interracting with children on my terms, and even then I only like some of them. I'm hoping like hell that I like my own children. 
I hate waiting in the cold. 
Yesterday while I was waiting for the bus, homeless guy #1 brought a cigi off homeless guy #2. #2 was mad because #1 only gave him 11 cents. Then #2 dropped a penny on the ground and when I told him he dropped some money he said "I don't want a fucking penny, even I'm not that desperate!" He looked at me like I was the one with all the problems. Next he mutters about how the going rate for a cigarette is at least 25 cents and he simply won't accept less. Then he kicked the penny further away and I said I was just trying to help out then he (accidently?) threw the wine out of his cup and towards me. So that was fun.
I always try and make sense of situations like this. Yah-know. The how and the why. Then I remind myself that I may never understand alcoholism or this particular guy's mental illness.

I catch the bus but I don't hate it anymore.

• Sometimes I find notes. I'm doing this thing where I pick up notes that I find. Usually it's at the supermarket (shopping lists yay!) or in cafes or on the bus or anywhere else really. I'm going to compile the more interesting ones and make a book out of them and make approximately a million and three dollars. Here's something I once found on the bus:

First there was a list: 

- Vanilla yoghurt
- Hummus
- Pita bread
- Crystal light 
- Cereal 
- Milk

Then there were words of inspiration:

Caress. In a world where you can be anything...Be yourself. 
There is only one happiness in life - to love and be loved. - George Sand
* Money might make you wealthy, but friends make you RICH. 

Next, there was this: 

Some people have too many feelings. 

Followed by some terrible song lyrics:

My nigga I'm a beast
I can go 30 days and nights I no sleep
Like the mice in the streets
The only meal that I see everyday is my cheese
I don't think you can catch up
Keep up, hey, keep up, hey. 

There was some more stuff. too. 

First critique: What kind of cereal?
Second critique: Nice Akon song, guuurl. (I guess the cheese reference was okay...)

Am I a creeper keeping other peoples' notes? Eek. 

• Maybe I can pretend that I live in a really big and exciting city where unless you are superrich and have your own driver, everyone takes public transport. Then I don't feel like 90% of the people on the bus are below the poverty line. 
• People-watching.
• Sometimes I having a competition to see who has the nicest hair on the bus. Sometimes it's me. This isn't saying much.
• Another competition: Try to make the bus driver smile.
• I didn't catch the bus I would never read.
• People are so effing weird. When the bus pulled up to pick me up on Friday, there was a strange-looking bald man also waiting. As the bus arrived, he muttered to himself (maybe to me also?) "I'm a fucking genius!" And I'm like...riiiiiight. Takes a genius to figure out when the bus is going to come. Then he did that thing where he got off the bus two stops up the road. Yes I am judging him. He waited for the bus longer than it would have taken him to walk there. And it wasn't even raining! 
• On the same bus ride, some punk kid walks up to the rubbish bin and hoikes up a loogie. So the bus driver says in a southern/rural drawl: "Do that again and you're gon' have to get off this bus!" He was probably just rural, because I feel like southerners with thick accents might never leave the south. They're too busy trying to pray the gay away. So guy who spat in the bin starts eating something out of his hand. He's literally licking his hand. Like a 10-year-old with Raro back in 1998. Remember that phase? I do. It was odd. Also, all his clothes were two sizes to big. People are fascinating. 
• Then I passed the sign that reads 'Stone Cutters'. Whenever I used to look up at that sign I would usually think of that stonecutters episode from The Simpsons, and now I always think of that episode, since whenever I see that sign, I'm reminded that I used to think of that stonecutters episode. If you get my drift.
• So that's what happened that day.
• If I ever say 'I don't believe in using cars' (which I may never say) then I won't be a hypocrite. I actually do believe that cities should be built for people and not cars. Go Portland. People in Portland who complain about the system can go suck it. Try living in Auckland with no car.
• I kind of like awkward situations with strangers. 
• I like to stare out the window.

So that's the bus.

Other thoughts from me this week:

• You guys might not be the right people to deal with this, but the light in the laundry room for my apartment works on a sensor. Sometimes it doesn't switch on for up to 45 seconds, and I'm standing in a dark empty room waving my hands about like a sad weirdo. 
• I don't get this whole 'Spotify' thing.
• I mean, I guess I get it. I just don't want people knowing when I'm listening to power ballads. Hint: I'm listening to power ballads Right. Now.
• Watch this.

I hope everyone had a fantastic Christmas.

Cheerio

Liz Tritops

xoxo