Then there were some other songs from the 90s. They weren't stupid enough to be funny, and I simply didn't start questioning them until years later. It wasn't like I was missing some sexual innuendo like most eight-year-olds. It was more like these songs would NEVER make any sense even after I had given my first cheeky handjob, read a Cosmo magazine or two, and snuck some vodka into a girly sleepover.
These songs make me feel kind of duped.
Top 5 90s Songs That I Didn't Question:
Hands - Jewel
What would you do if someone commented on the magnitude of your hands? 'Coz this is what Jewel would do:
Good chat.
As Long As You Love Me - The Backstreet Boys
I get that the boys just want to be loved, but they're getting kinda desperate. What bugs me the most is the first line:
Although loneliness has always been a friend of mine
I'm leavin' my life in your hands
I DON'T FUCKING UNDERSTAND AND I FEEL ANGRY ABOUT IT.
LMO - Summer Girls
'Like the color purple, macaroni and cheese.'
I like mac 'n cheese as much as the next person, but I don't feel the need to go all tourettes about it.
'I'll steal your honey like I stole your bike.'
You can take the bike, but not the honey. Please, god, no. Anything but the honey.
'Hip hop marmalade, spic and span'.
Like, he's just saying shit.
Here's hip hop marmalade:
Sitting Down Here - Lene Marlin
I'm sitting down here but, hey! You can't see me! I wanted this song to be about a rather long game of hide and seek with a large amount of people, but when I looked into it a little more, I think it's probably about a stalker. A stalker that only sits. If she sang 'I'm standing up here but hey, you can't see me' it would make even less sense.
A couple of lessons from the lyrics of 'Sitting Down Here':
- Want revenge? Sit down here.
- Do you want to hide but not really? Sit down here.
Sex and Candy - Marcy Playground
What I wanna know is how a girl can be like disco super fly, double cherry pie, and like disco lemonade? Sounds like one hell of a party. So much disco going on here.
They should all invite hip hop marmalade.
Other thoughts from me this week:
- I've started using 'lol' again. I don't know why or how this started, but all I know is that I feel like a 16 year-old again. This is madness.
- Here's a LizTip: When you write a to-do list, use a small piece of paper. That way, you won't make a list as big as Russia and you might actually achieve some of the things on it instead of spending your whole day writing the list. Also, have fucking cup of tea.
- I want you all to know that I now have a window at work. This is quite nice, because now I don't feel like I'm trapped inside an ex-Soviet prison.
- There is a Starbucks opening in my city. I feel like a lame as sheep being so excited about something as average. But now I can get a chocofrappafuckahalfmochalattechino with whip if I were that way inclined. I'm not that way inclined, but a pumpkin spice latte wouldn't go a miss. America taught me that seasons have flavours!
Watch this thing I found:
Liz Tritops
xoxo
LOVEYOUBYE
