LizPoints 2.0

I have had to revise my old points system because I'm so freakin' dynamic and all about adapting.
I used to play a really fun game where if enough of a my pre-determined, unlikely and/or awesome things happened in one day, then I got me some icecream. It was more fun than a pillow fight in a tree hut. This game has become outdated and I need to upgrade to LizPoints 2.0. It really is like a little window would periodically pop-up in my brain. It looked like this:

For ages, I clicked the middle box. Recently I have realised how many potential treats I am missing out on. Here is how LizPoints 2.0 works:

For each of the following, I accrue one point: 

• Arriving at work at exactly half-past. 
• A child that I dislike immensely doesn't come to class. 
• Seeing a Korean with a pet dog that isn't tiny. 
• Finishing a TV series. There is nothing quite like that strange combination of accomplishment and emptiness that comes after a Netflix binge. Why not numb the pain with a point. 
• Eating a mango coconut smoothie with bubble.
• Seeing a Korean with an alternative hairstyle. 
• Getting an exciting thing in the mail. 
• Seeing a couple wearing matching outfits. 

Some things from my old points system are still current. Here they are:

• Seeing an animal which I have never seen before. Let's go to the zoo!
• Waking up just before my alarm goes off. JUST before. 
• Running when it's dark and I not get attacked by clowns, rapists, or drop bears.
• Thinking about someone who I never see and then I see them on the same day!
• Saying hello to a new dog that I haven't said hello to before.
• Seeing someone in a pinstripe suit. 
• Seeing someone smoke a cigar.

NB: You cannot accrue more than one point for any given activity. Example: Seeing two alternative hairstyles in the same day does not win you two points. 

If I earn 10 points in a day, I get a prize. 

The Prize:

Mango coconut smoothie with bubble. You may notice that I get a point when I have one of these anyway. So, if I'm already on nine points for the day, all I need to do is drink one of these guys and then I get another one pronto. Nice tactical move on my part. 

I love mango. I love coconut. I love bubble. I love smoothie. 
And that was my story.

They say with 'bubble' because why add an 's' to pluralise anything? And why not make up words like 'pluralise'?

Other thoughts from me this week:

• Tomorrow I'm going camping. Korean style. This is probably where there is a dairy 10 minutes walk away. 
• I really like the smell of tent. I'm sure some people think it's mildew-y and gross, but hey, these are probably the same kind of people who brush their teeth in the shower. I think tents smell like freedom and spooning.  
• I really hope I wake up and I don't remember which way the tent is facing. I don't get that kind of disorientation everyday. Like if I went outside everyday and forgot which way my apartment had been facing. That would be messed up. 
• I need more brunch dates in my life. NEVER. STOP. BRUNCHING. 

Hey guys. If you want to waste your time on something, then pick this:

LOVEYOUBYE

Liz Tritops

xoxo

Halloween 101

Hi Halloween

You're mostly new to me because:

1) I'm from a small and isolated island which struggles to celebrate things with gusto. Sometimes we try to copy American traditions because we see them on the telly and we think they might be fun, but we kinda suck at it. 
2) One of the main halloween activities, Trick-or-treating, was never allowed by Mother. This is because she is 55% CrazyChristian. Don't worry though, she's also a nice lady. Some other parents just thought it was rude to bang on peoples' doors asking for lollies. Fairplay. 

I think I really like Halloween, I just need to find out for sure. Is 23 too old to start Trick-or-treating? Here's my take on it: In Halloween years, I'm an infant. So if anything, I'm too young to be Trick-or-treating. I will go with my friend who is sufficiently small that she can look like a child if she tries hard enough. Pigtails? Scrunchies? Child-like voice? Over-excitement about candy? Tonight, we ARE young! 
Mean Girls taught me to dress like a slut for Halloween. Am I going to? No. I think I will be Mario. I look good with a moustache. I would wear one everyday if society would allow it. 

Here are some things that have confused me about Halloween thus far:
- I had no idea that there were special pumpkins for carving and people grew them in patches. I don't know how to carve pumpkins but I'm excited! My friend and I went to a pumpkin patch on this island close to Portland. A highlight was seeing cute Asians taking cute photos of a cute puppy in amongst many tiny pumpkins. It was like Where's Wally? but instead it was 'Where's Puppy?'. Except that it wasn't as difficult as Where's Wally? because puppy looked nothing like pumpkins, and puppy wouldn't stay still.  (So really it wasn't like Where's Wally? at all. Bah. I guess I just wanted it to be.) I was classy and took a photo of Asians taking photos. METAMETA. Another highlight was seeing more than five white trash people. I enjoy this because it makes me feel good about myself. 
- How can something that looks and feels like plastic taste so good? Yeah, candy corn. I'm talking about you! 
- So many things to buy! Look at these 'humorous' pet costumes. I haven't tried much of all the Halloween-specific candy, and, to be honest, right now I'm scared that there is too much candy and not enough time. This is where I become desperate and start doing things like finding recipes for candy corn smoothies, and subsequently turning something which is supposed to be healthy for you into a request for diabetes.   
- I had heard the term 'hayride' before but I didn't really understand what it was. Turns out you just sit on top of some hay in the back of a truck. While this was perfectly satisfactory, and somewhat idilic, I did think it was going to be more racy and adventurous, like a Ferris wheel on hay bales, or like the Giant Drop, but you don't just drop a giant distance, you also land in a big pile of hay. This would probably be a bit shit if you have Hayfever, but I'm not allergic to anything so fuck the rest, right? If you try telling me that 'Hayfever isn't actually caused by hay' in a wanky I-know-more-than-you voice, then I will just laugh at you for being allergic to pet dander, gluten, water, glucose, shells, fish, shellfish, and boys. And hay.
- Mischief night: Have you heard of it and do you do mischief? Supposedly it's an excuse to run around and do slightly bad things, but only on the night before Halloween. 
- Pumpkin-flavoured everything! TEA! COFFEE! PIES! BREAD! CREAM CHEESE! VODKA! BEER! PUMPKINGASM! 

I am acting as a Halloween protégé for my flatmate. She is excited because not only does she love Halloween, but she also gets to make me do many fun things with her. Essentially, it's a massive win-win. 'They' tell me that part of the Halloween experience is watching scary movies. Some of these movies make me feel funny. Every time I watch something involving torture I feel really icky. I don't know how normal people enjoy these movies. From now on, we are only allowed watch cute Halloween movies. Am I soft? Maybe.  

All of that aside, surely Halloween walks of shame are at least five times funnier. 

I'm giving Americana a gold star right now. 

Other thoughts from me this week: 

• I think I will marry a Greek man. The main reason for this is so I can have a surname that sounds much more like a genus of dinosaur.
• I did that thing that I announced a few months ago, which was to run a half marathon. I had fun almost for the whole 21k and now I want to run 42k and maybe even more than that. Soon I will be Batman! 
• How do people think mazes are fun? There is nothing fun about getting lost and having to find your way. Yes, I know it's a 'game'. It's probably not that huge or that difficult, but what if you actually can't get out? 
• Watch this! You really must. 

Thanks for reading and I hope you have the BEST. HALLOWEEN. EVER! 

Bye

Liz Tritops

xoxo