Sometimes I tell hipsters that I'm a solo gongist. As in, I play the gong. Just me and my gong. No other instruments. This is me telling a lie. But I feel like it's justified because THEY FUCKING LOVE IT.
I have a better idea.
Start a band.
With children's instruments.
This band will be a five-piece featuring the following instruments:
- Kazoo - cool word. The inventor didn't know if it was an instrument or toy. Perfect. According to Wikipedia, 'different sounds can be made by singing different syllables such as doo, who, rrrrr or brrrr into the kazoo'. Doowhorrrbrrr.
- Triangle. Things with three sides are better than things with any other number of sides.
- Xylophone or glockenspiel - both are cool words, especially glockenspiel. (I like german words which are used in english.)
- Tambourine.
- Melodica. You know that little piano thingy that you blow into.
- The band will also feature a llama. Just chillin'. On stage.
That's all.
Culture Tingles
It's not like culture shock, because it's not as if someone tried to steal my baby or I'm crying and sleeping excessively because I need to escape. When that happens, you guys will be the first to know!
So far I have had the following tingles:
- I find it hard to comprehend that 100 pennys make a dollar. You need 100 of them. For a dollar. 100!!!
- I ate a 'small' burrito the other day which was the size of my head. How big is a 'large'?
- I said 'two' to the lady at the cafe and she thought I said 'toast' and it was VERY confusing and took around 2.3 minutes to clear up. LANGUAGE BARRIER.
- I cannot believe that children get their vitamins through gummy bears.
Other thoughts from me this week:
- When you get rid of the fur on a cat, there's almost nothing left. Shit.
- It's 1949. We're hanging out, just you and me, having a beer or two. I bring Stalin over for a few. Are you mad at me? Honestly, he's a good guy. I swear!
- Velociraptors were the size of turkeys. And they had feathers. Ew.
- I CAN NOT WAIT for the olympics.
- Watch this.
Next week I'm gonna start a fun little segment. It will be called 'I heard a hipster say...'
Look forward to it!
Byebye
Liz Tritops
xoxo
For some reason they (Americans) can never quite get how we say the number 2. Somehow, they would keep thinking I said, "Three." A little awkward when my phone number, address and ZIP code all contained twos and threes.
ReplyDeleteI think I'll put that on the list of words to say in an American accent'. Unfortunately, my American accent just turns into me yelling. Don't know why.
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