I Made a Flowchart About Hybrid Animals

Sometimes I get a sharp pang of jealousy when I find out that people I know have their lives more sorted than me. 
'Sorted' may or may not mean:
- They are dressed more nicely and being more thin.
- They are buying blenders and their first mattresses which were not the second cheapest in the store.
- They may also be buying Christmas ornaments and blenders, because they know where they live, AND they have prettier Christmases than me, and make nicer smoothies than me.  
- They have long post-class conversations with their yoga teacher, whose name is either Winter or Ginseng.
- They have a new puppy, or their boyfriend has a new puppy. Maybe even both? The puppies play together. 

In these moments of jealousy, I feel like it's high time I did something to arrange a job where:
- I get to wear power heels, but it's okay because I magically, overnight, learned how to walk like a godess in them. 
- I go to Monday morning meetings, and I LIKE THEM because...
- I have a mimosa before my Monday morning meetings. I know you're thinking 'but Liz, mimosas are for Sunday brunch, not Monday morning!' Wait! I love my job so much that Monday morning is to be celebrated, dammit!
- Mimosa is prepared by boyfriend with new puppy. Soon, puppy will be trained to make mimosa so I can stay in bed with boyfriend. 
- Don't worry, I already secretly ran 10k. 
- Monday morning meeting has everything catered by high-end catering company, so I can have mini croissants if I want to, but I don't even eat those! The main reason is so I can judge the girls who DO eat the mini croissants. Do I judge the men who eat them? Of course not. That would be absurd.
- There are numerous opportunities for promotion. I can earn promotion by A) Blowing the boss. B) Working my arse off. C). Just by being so charming that everyone loves me and wants me at ALL the important meetings and business trips because I make them laugh AND maybe I can be pretty too? 
- I have the freedom to choose either B), or C). Maybe A) in desperate times!

Sometimes, I wish I knew where this job was.

Other times, I would rather just play and take trips in planes and make flowcharts. 

Here is a flowchart which I made yesterday. It is about hybrid animals. I hope you like it!

(I am still a little shit with computers. It's kind of small.) 

Have a good weekend!

Loveyoubye

xoxo

Liz Tritops