Also - Boys: If you pick up and you're wearing your cap backwards, you get double points.
I have a confession. I still don't know how to do long division. I swear from when I was 6 to 12, probably around 20 million different adults tried to teach it to me but I never got it. I could do all the other maths. And all the other kids could do long division. Even the kid with the permanently snotty nose. You know the one.
This is how I tried to do it:
Here's a list I made. It's called:
Things I Find Offensive
- People who don't like dogs.
- When people put 'much?' on to the end of adjectives. Hate much?
- Tyra Banks.
- Personalised number plates. I saw one yesterday which said 'LIE'. On a boy racer car. What are you tryna tell me? You like to lie? You're a compulsive liar? Is the car a lie? Do you often like to lie down on things? Or are you lying about being a liar? Wait....are you lying about lying about being a liar? Witty.You're so fucking kewl!!!! I bet you have a MASSIVE PENIS. CoMe CRuzN WiT mE Lyk OmG LEtZ GeT FUCkD Up WiT dA BoYZ LOLZ HuN xoxoxo JK.
- Energy drinks.
- Xzibit.
- People who just sit/stand there with their mouths a little too open. Even if they are the smartest kid around it still makes them look they're a fry short of a Happy Meal. Oi you! Close your mouth!
- Pants which are slightly too short. Next time, put some cream on your shoes and invite your pants down for scones and jam.
- 'Fragment. (Consider revising)'
- Leaving crumbs in the spread. C'mon. Figure it out. It's not rocket surgery.
- When I ask someone what their favourite dinosaur is and they say 'I don't really know any dinosaurs'.
‽
I recently discovered the interrobang (probably one of the best days of my life). It's an exclamation mark superimposed on a question mark. Can be used for things such as 'You call that a hat‽' And when you say 'interrobang' you have to shout it and also say it like a question. You should use it. Let's make this big.
I have to go chop up some fruit now. Thanks for tuning in.
Liz Tritops
