Here are some badly-ordered thoughts and happenings:
- We spent most of the road trip being quite healthy. We ran and I even tried climbing things. Problems happen when you see a candy store. Like, a store, that only has lollies. And lots of them. Also, what do you even do when you drive past the Jelly Belly factory‽
- LA was weird for me, but I had fun.
- The main purpose of LA was so I could get my visa. I spent the week in a haze of unavoidable stress, because embassies/airports/immigration stress me out a little. I am always concerned that something will go wrong, even if I do everything right.
- So much driving had to happen. Now, I do like driving, but I think cities should be made for people and not cars, and gosh, if you live and work in LA, you probably spend 2hrs in the car per day. Fuck that. I gotta do more important things, like watch Hoarders and write worthless lists.
- I was really confused about the climate. Call me stupid, but I always thought LA was subtropical because of all the palm trees. Then I was informed that I was in the desert. Back the truck up. How can this be? We are next to the ocean‽ Basically, when it comes to things that aren't familiar to me, I struggle to accept them. Example: Being from an island country, the idea that you can drive to another country still weirds me out.
- Does everyone from LA hate their parents? Signs point to yes.
- Fill ALL the space with noise.
- I ran into a friend randomly in LA. He doesn't live there. Neither do I. Words cannot express how much I love it when you see someone you know in a big city where neither of you live. It's the best.
- We drove to Compton and drank a forty in a parking lot.
- Kidding. We just drove to Compton to get Taco Bell (nice drive, I guess) and how am I supposed to know that Nacho Cheese Doritos tacos ALWAYS have meat in them? GOSH. I call secret meat. #healthyroadtrip #goodvegetarian
- Ferris Wheels are actually on my top 100 list. There was a ferris wheel on Venice Beach, and it looked so close to us. It wasn't. Beaches can be so deceptive with distances. You think it's 300m away but it's really 3k away. Distance WTF. The ferris wheel was the shittiest one I've ever been on. I would love to see what Venice Beach looked like on a sunny Saturday in the 1960s. No further comments.
- One more comment. You would have to pay me to buy something from them the shops there. And then I would probably gift it to you. So really, you would just be buying something shitty for yourself. I win.
- My last night in LA was spent in the gay district watching male dancers. Drinks were four times the price as they would have been in Portland. Did I really want to pay $16 for a Quick Fuck? Hellsno. But you don't even have to drink as much because everyone is already more attractive (in a 'you have nice features, a tan, and you spend $500 on your hair' kind of way).
- Then I got a toothache.
- Don't tell anyone, but I haven't been to the dentist since Year 13. 2006! I AM THE WORST! My wisdom teeth are coming through. Sometimes this means that I just want a chew toy. I feel like there had been no dental emergency here because I think it's pretty normal to want a chew toy, right? So far, no big problems; my bonus teeth have been okay, so I'm thinking, let 'em do their thing! I sooo have space in my mouth. The more the merrier, right? (I like to call 'em 'bonus teeth'. I can call them 'wisdom teeth' after having at least two children, once I have read The Art of War, and after having established consistent sleeping patterns (I don't know how this will make me wise, but I feel like knowing how to sleep is a prerequisite for being wise.) Note: After getting dementia and catching racism, they will, subsequently, become 'bonus teeth' again.
- I didn't just want a chew toy. I wanted to kill something. If you've ever had a bad toothache, you know how cranky you can become. PMS times three, I reckon. Painkillers sometimes don't work because something about the nerve being right there or something or other. Liz Scientist Roberts.
- I could not fit everything into suitcase. Not even close. While I suck at packing, I usually enjoy it. Not this time. I was as organised as the Egyptian Bread Riots.
- Nek minnit, I'm in Korea.
- The End.
Other thoughts from me this week:
- I really want 'them' to invent an App called 'Words with Enemies'. Raise the stakes.
- One of my children didn't know the word for 'snot' so she said 'nose pee' instead. I thought it was kinda adorbs. Doing the best with what you've got.
Watch it. Puppy can't get up.
Thanks for reading
Goodbye
Liz Tritops
xoxo
